Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Encyclosleazia Shittanica excerpt: Yeyons

The Head of the infamous yeyonian scientist taken by Cig Neutron, the Mad Dr. Merk

Paranoid, reclusive, and deathly intelligent, Yeyons are the twacked out masterminds of the universe. Driven by constant cocaine use yeyons are most likely THE most productive race in the universe. About 82% of all the universe's technology came from the Yeyons. While keeping them productive, all that cocaine makes them paranoid and anti social.

  All yeyons live alone constantly expanding their fortress like laboratories...or fortratories. They are always toiling away making new inventions and observing experiments. If they get lonely they invent company. If they get bored they invent entertainment. The only family a yeyon has is the one he may or may not create for himself. No one has yet to solve the mystery of how yeyons reproduce since they are all so reclusive.

   Almost all yeyons wear goggles, but not for the mad scientist aesthetic. Yeyon's noses bleed constantly from the never ending cocaine use. Since their eyes are unfortunately located beneath their nostrils they must protect their eyes from the bloody faucet that is they're nose.

  Yeyons love dabbling in genetics. Creating hideous creatures and even pitting them against rival yeyon's creatures in the Slaughter pit, a gruesome coliseum located on Raileon 5. In fact many creatures that can be found around the universe have come from Yeyons whether intentionally or not. The Slagitrons for instance were a failed yeyonian experiment.

 The yeyons live on Raileon. A barren desert-like planet. Once Raileon had become too crowded with fortratories, the yeyons constructed a new Raileon identical to the first. They have constructed 5 Raileons to date.

If a yeyon goes too long without cocaine the larger eyes on their forehead open up and they fall into a permanent murderous rage bent on destroying anything around in the pursuit of cocaine. This condition is irreversible and is a great fear of the Yeyons. These feral Yeyons are known as fiends and populate the desolate wastelands outside Yeyonian fortratories. There is no reasoning with a fiend and they are considered highly dangerous. All Yeyon fortratories must have defenses against these awful creatures.

1 comment:

  1. she should include the spider monkey from this planet. =)